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Searching for first love: worth the effort? A company in Nanjing has started offering a groundbreaking new service in China. "For just 1,000 yuan, we'll help you find your first love," says the advertisement, now appearing in newspapers in cities all around the country. As well as considerable interest, the idea is drawing fierce criticism. It took a while for the idea to catch on after the first ad was printed in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province in 2001, but now the ¡°First-love-finding¡± business has spread to Guangzhou, Zhuhai, Chongqing, Chengdu and Urumqi. Xia Yihai, general manager of Nanjing Pingjiang Information Service Corporation, came up with the idea when he realized he could expand his company¡¯s basic lost and found services. ¡°Everyone has a first love,¡± he told Nanjing-basJinling Evening News on January 3. Xia said 80 percent of the clients for this service were female. The male customers were generally successful businessmen in their forties. Xia said he charged between 1,000 and 2,000 yuan, and the customers should pay 40 percent in advance. The business is now so popular that Xia says he's short of staff. There have been widely different responses to the business. It¡¯s not been too popular in Shijiazhuang but it is booming in other cities. At the sme time, the business is receiving both a warm welcome and heavy criticism from the public. Some of Xia's clients have been able to find their first loves and rebuild sound relationships with them, while some were rejeted by them or even beaten by their spouses. Is this a worthwhile service to provide? Opinions follow : Mr. Lin Ping, a manager in Wuhan, Hubei Province Xia helped me find my first love in Beijing. My family had forced me to stop seeing her when I was in senior middle school and it was a terrible blow for me. I often thought of her, even after I got married, and I remained curious about her life. When we met again in Wuhan this Spring Festival, she was not as good as I imagined; not young or beautiful and the pure feeling I had known was no longer there. Finding her has not affected my life though, and now we are normal friends. Ms. Xiao Qiu, from Jinan, capital of Shandong Province I met with my first love for the first time in 20 years. We watched the sea together, counted the masts of the boats and looked at the smoke rising from the chimneys. It felt like I had returned to the past, but we could not begin our relationship again, no matter how much we remembered it. One night we drove to the city suburbs, and he held my hands tightly, but he soon stepped out of the car and I went home. It is not hard to find someone in such a communication-crowded society, but what can we do after meeting? I have my son and husband, how could I leave and betray them? So don¡¯t try and find your first love. It ill only bring frustration. "John Doe" 35, married, a US marketing manager in Beijing I lost contact with my first love for 15 years, and I would like to know how her life is going. But I think it is all the past, and it should stay in the past. If someone came to see me and claimed that I was her first love, I would find it awkward and strange, although I wouldn¡¯t think it was offensive for my family. Dan Warthman, 56, an American writer in Beijing These kinds of businesses are everywhere in the US. If the company looks for an old girlfriend of mine whom I lost track of, then that really just means they are searching for old friends. And that¡¯s oay. But it depends on how it¡¯s done, how they make contact, and whether it will hurt the family or not. I wouldn¡¯t hurt someone or her family; you don¡¯t want to do that to someone you once loved. Shi Kang, 36, a freelance writer in Beijing I think it is silly to try and find your first love. Let the past stay in the past. I think life would be too troublesome if people are too sentimental. Miss Li, a college student from Guangzhou Sun Yat-Sen University I would be very angry if my first love came to see me without warning, having used a company to find me. I could not tell his purpose, and even if he wants to have a reunion, he should contact me privately. I personally do not like commercial intervention in such a private matter. Ms. Fan Fang, 28, editor of a fashion magazine in Beijing I would like to know how my first love is getting along these days. I think of him sometimes, but I have a boyfriend now, so I don¡¯t find it necessary to look for my first love. The reunion with him might spoil mybeautiful memories, and it might also be awkward for him. Mr. Gao, Shijiazhuang I still feel ashamed to remember how proud and narrow minded I was when I was with my first love all that time ago. I thought of looking for her a few years ago but gave it up because I thought I wouldn¡¯t succeed. It would be a nice feeling to experience the process of finding your first love. Shuo Buchu Zaijian (Cannot say goodbye), Cyol.net netizen The past can never be regained, so why try the impossible to find someone who lives only in history? First love is like a cup of coffee, and we should savor it alone at midnight. Rxu, Cyol.net netizen People have beautiful memories of their first love, but it does not mean they actually had a beautiful first love. First love, though painful, is beautiful in memory. Do not take everything too seriously or it can make life too hard. It is enough to think of first love. |
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