美高校办“父母告别仪式”迎新生

美高校办“父母告别仪式”迎新生

2010-Aug-25 15:17:03

全世界的父母都会对自己的孩子宠爱有加，甚至有些会越俎代庖替孩子处理很多事务。为了让新生尽快开始独立生活，美国一所大学特意为他们举办了一个正式的“父母告别仪式”，仪式结束后，学生踏入校园，父母则被留在门外。虽然这样的告别仪式在美国高校里面还不是很普遍，不过越来越多的高校开始采用类似的方式让新生家长离开校园。有些学校在接待新生时会特意为家长设立单独的接待点，这样学生就可以自己去认识室友，在没有家长干扰的情况下跟他们一起讨论宿舍空间分配之类的问题。有的学校则会在新生接待日程上清楚写明要求家长离校的时间，有了明文规定，告别的时间也就不会拖延太久了。

美高校办“父母告别仪式”迎新生

Alex Bazis, 18, and his father, Tim, at the mailboxes at Grinnell. The college urges parents to leave on moving-in day. (Agencies)

In order to separate doting parents from their freshman sons, Morehouse College in Atlanta has instituted a formal "Parting Ceremony."

It began on a recent evening, with speeches in the Martin Luther King Jr. International Chapel. Then the incoming freshmen marched through the gates of the campus -- which swung shut, literally leaving the parents outside.

When University of Minnesota freshmen move in at the end of this month, parental separation will be a little sneakier: mothers and fathers will be invited to a reception elsewhere so students can meet their roommates and negotiate dorm room space -- without adult meddling.

As the latest wave of superinvolved parents delivers its children to college, institutions are building into the day, normally one of high emotion, activities meant to punctuate and speed the separation. It is part of an increasingly complex process, in the age of Skype and twice-daily texts home, in which colleges are urging "Velcro parents" to back off so students can develop independence.

Grinnell College here, like others, has found it necessary to be explicit about when parents really, truly must say goodbye. Move-in day for the 415 freshmen was Saturday. After computer printers and duffle bags had been carried to dorm rooms, everyone gathered in the gymnasium, students on one side of the bleachers, parents on the other.

The president welcoming the class of 2014 had his back to the parents -- a symbolic staging meant to inspire "an aha! moment," said Houston Dougharty, vice president of student affairs, "an epiphany where parents realize, 'My student is feeling more comfortable sitting with 400 people they just met.' "

Shortly after, mothers and fathers were urged to leave campus.

Moving their students in usually takes a few hours. Moving on? Most deans can tell stories of parents who lingered around campus for days. At Colgate University in Hamilton, N.Y., a mother and father once went to their daughter's classes on the first day of the semester and trouped to the registrar's office to change her schedule, recalled Beverly Low, the dean of first-year students.

"We recognize it's a huge day for families," she said. Still, during various parent meetings on Colgate's move-in day, which is Thursday, Ms. Low and other officials plan to drop not-so-subtle hints that "activities for the class of 2014 begin promptly at 4," she said.

Formal "hit the road" departure ceremonies are unusual but growing in popularity, said Joyce Holl, head of the National Orientation Directors Association. A more common approach is for colleges to introduce blunt language into drop-off schedules specifying the hour for last hugs. As of 5:30 p.m. on Sept. 11, for example, the parents of Princeton freshmen learn from the move-in schedule, "subsequent orientation events are intended for students only."