Some people shy of sharing crises with family

(China Daily HK Edition)
Updated: 2006-12-15 09:09

Some Hong Kong people don't want to discuss their crises with the family members, shows a Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK) survey on family health.

The study was conducted by CUHK's Family and Group Practice Research Centre in collaboration with the Department of Social Work and Public Policy Research Centre and the Hong Kong Institute of Asia-Pacific Studies.

Researchers interviewed 1,010 adults over the telephone from 8 to 15 November to assess the health status of Chinese people and the use of family resources in Hong Kong.

Between 80 and 90 per cent respondents said they would support, trust and accept family members' opinions in a crisis.

But 30 to 40 per cent felt they couldn't share their feelings with family members during a crisis and would try and avoid speaking to them about unhappy things.

"When something unhappy happens, quite a number of Hong Kong people find it difficult to talk about their feelings with their family members," CUHK's professor of Social Work and director of Family and Group Practice Research Centre Joyce Ma said yesterday, when the results of the survey were announced.

"Part of the reason is related to traditional Chinese family values. We want to talk about the good things but not the bad ones because we don't want our family members to be worried."

If the practice of not sharing our feelings with our loved ones becomes a habit while dealing with stress, "it can weaken our ability to handle a crisis, damage our physical and mental health and even affect family functions directly", she said.

Public education is important for spreading the message that not knowing how to deal with a crisis doesn't mean we are incompetent.

The correct way to deal with adversity is to seek help from family members, friends, neighbours and professionals, she said.

In Western society, CUHK's assistant professor of Social Work Lau Yuk-king said, people express their feelings and concern for family members through words. But in Chinese culture, "we show our concern through actions". For example, Chinese mothers show they care for their children by cooking the best available dishes for them.

To bring family members closer, people should combine Chinese and Western values, Lau said.

Though we should try to express our feelings to family members more often, we should not over-react while trying to help them, she said.

The survey also found that single parents and low-income families have fewer resources, and thus have less ability to face adversities.

On a scale of one to three, with three being the highest point, families with an income of less than HK$10,000 a month scored an average of 1.89, much lower than those that earned between HK$10,000 and HK$30,000 (2.18) and above HK$30,000 (2.25).



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