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Spiritual comfort part of filial duty
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10/25/2002
There is a general misconception that the duty of a filial son consists mainly in feeding and clothing one's parents. They fail to realize that elderly people, when reduced to a deplorable state of solitude, have all the more need for someone to talk to and interact with.The trend has become increasingly obvious with the abundance of consumer goods and our ability to afford them expanding on a yearly basis. If it is taken for granted that material comfort is all that our elderly parents hope for, where then can we draw the line of demarcation between our attitudes toward pet animals and our parents, who begot, gave birth to and raised us? The untruth of the presumption can fairly be borne out by the following example. A middle-aged couple, both my nodding acquaintances, paid enough heed to the husband's elderly mother by catering to her material needs. Being career-minded, however, they had never found time to communicate with her. As a result, she was confined to her bedroom day in and day out. As time went by, a subtle change began to overtake her, transforming her by degrees into another person hardly recognizable to her children. For example, she would snigger without giving apparent reason when nobody was around. What could be reckoned as the early symptoms of Alzheimer's disease didn't put them on the alert until one day she disappeared all of a sudden. Although she had been quickly brought back, the incident would nonetheless provide some food for thought. Just like young people, the elderly are in dire need of spiritual as well as material comfort. To them, spiritual comfort, which chiefly comprises intercommunication and intimate talk, provides a channel to release their boredom and frustrations, thereby lessening the burden on their minds. A sense of loneliness and depression is likely to accumulate, encroaching on their sanity, if they are left alone to dispose of their time by themselves. So I should think it advisable for filial children to put aside a portion of their leisure hours to spend with their parents. They may share with them their joys and woes by talking with them about trivial matters, aiming to lighten them up, or accompany them for a jog, just to chase away the menace of solitude. Being too busy to attend to the needs of the elderly is no excuse for us being neglectful of our duty. Let's live up to our word and be de facto dutiful children.
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