At a glance: how to deal with bullying
How To Spot If Someone's Being Bullied
According to anti-bullying charity Ditch The Label, these are the most common signs of bullying in teens:
1 Their moods. People who have been bullied will often have a sense of low-worth and this can be seen through their mood and attitude. They will often lose motivation for certain things and tasks that they might otherwise enjoy.
2 A loss in appetite. This ties in with a change in mood since we all know that when you are feeling low, the last thing that you probably want to do is eat. This can cause a large amount of problems if it is happening on a regular basis.
3 A desire for isolation. With people becoming more and more reliant on the internet and the things on it, the web can be a very dangerous place for young people. Through our research we have found that there has been a rise in young people spending more time online, more time alone and less time spent outdoors and with family.
4 More time spent playing computer games. Although there is a large population of young people and even adults who playing video games, for some people, this is used as an escape so it may be a good idea to keep an eye on the amount of time spent on these platforms.
5 Time spent sleeping. Through this research we have also found that a noticeable percentage of young people will spend more time sleeping, it may be related to the wide world of video gaming but this could also result in them not wanting to wake up for school.
6 Decrease in time spent focusing on their studies and less time thinking about the future. The future is supposed to be an exciting prospect with things like university and careers around the corner so this could be a red flag in terms of suspecting that you child is being bullied.
How To Tackle Bullying As An Adult
1 Set boundaries: Advises Rhona Clews: "Be clear about what is OK with you and what isn't, and learn how to communicate where your boundaries lie. This means speaking up when someone tries to take advantage of or exclude you, for example. Clear communication skills mean others will respect you".
2 Deflect the jibes: When people goad you, reply with equivalent volume and intensity but without being negative, says Antoinette Dale-Henderson. "Look them in the eye and say 'Thank you so much - I really like it when people come at things from a different perspective'. This deflects the comment and shows them how you expect to be treated".
3 Be assertive: "Taking on a bully is about assertive communication, using powerful body language - head up, shoulders back - a strong vocal tone and humour to deflect the bullying, rather than shrinking into yourself or lashing out," says Dale-Henderson.
4 Clear the trauma: If you still find those 'victim' feelings plague your life, you need to change your 'inner-script'. Clews recommends EFT: "The trauma is held in the cells of the body, and the memories of trauma are held in the mind. EFT works on both to help you move on".