Living free-homosexual forum

By Mei Jia (Agencies)
Updated: 2009-04-16 09:51

In 2001, when Sun Dehua's son revealed his sexual orientation, his wife had to fight him to stop his murderous attempt. Sun turned a deaf ear to everyone who tried to plead his son's case, until the day Yuan Suoxian arrived.

Yuan, an expert on sex education and a veteran practitioner of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) with Dalian TCM Hospital, had come to know Sun Mu and became Sun's good friend.

It was not easy at first to calm the furious father. But, he was softened after Yuan's persuasion.

"The specialist told me not to let rage blind me and told me to see how excellent and responsible my son is. He said homosexuality is not a disease," Sun says.

Sun became willing to talk to his son's gay friends and came to understand their pain. Finally he concluded, "They are very nice people."

A year after the knife incident, he bought a house for Sun Mu and his partner surnamed Wang. He calls it a token of his acceptance of Wang as another son of his.

In 2005, he became a full-time volunteer with a Dalian-based group that works with gays and started the Comrades' (Gays) Parents Hotline, the first of its kind on the Chinese mainland.

Sun has been giving advice and providing support to parents as shocked as he was, at first. He has taken more than 1,600 phone calls and is known affectionately as "Papa Comrade".

Things were a lot easier for Wu Youjian, a former editor of a literature magazine based in Guangzhou. Traditionally, Guangdong province has produced many pioneering thinkers, such as Kang Youwei, the social reformer of the late Qing Dynasty (1644-1911) period.

But it is Wu's distinctive personality that sets her apart from other Chinese parents who blame themselves for their children's "misguided" sexuality.

"To be upright and genuine is what I learnt from my father. I'm grateful Yuantao learnt that from me. Since fate has ordained that I should have a gay son, I accept it," Wu says.

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