One night after drinks, he said that he had worked so hard to survive, adapt and excel in America that it was hard for him to imagine working a regular job in China; he felt he deserved something better, but what that something could be, he had no clue; so he is now working on applying to Harvard Business School.
For those of us who have lived and worked overseas for a long time, however, landing a high-paying, high-respect job is not so difficult. With such a job, we can lead a much more comfortable life than being just middle class overseas - China's labor cost being so low, we can afford nannies, maids, chauffeurs and daily dining in restaurants, with little regard to balancing the checkbooks. I, for one, had forgotten how to cook in my own kitchen.
There is nothing wrong with expecting social status for these returnees who worked hard at school and in the workplace. But can our motivation be so simple? Returnees often cite the orderly and boring life routine of the West as one of the major impetuses to move back. China, for those of us who can benefit from its development, is exciting - we can contribute to it and feel proud of being part of the rapid social change.
In China, we can also feel firmly in the center of the society, rather than just living comfortably in the cultural margins of the West, while expecting our kids to move into the mainstream.
A philosophy professor friend of mine, who received tenure in the United States, moved back recently to teach at a prestigious university in Beijing. I asked him why he moved back. Without missing a beat, he explained that two years earlier, he had taught a summer program in Beijing.
Kids nowadays in China are not being taught properly, he said. And he wanted to be part of the force that helps teach the kids right.
So, I suspect that the reason that overseas Chinese are returning to China in droves is not the desire to be men above other men, but to realize one's potential in society - be it financial reward, social status, or the power to influence.
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