I Love You, really
"We probably still don't say the words as much as our non-Asian friends," Powell says. "I'd like to think that I show my love by spending time with my dad and seeing to his well-being, like asking my cousin to set up his TV with a streaming box so he can watch Cantonese TV."
The "cultural revolution" (1966-76) also contributed in maintaining the status quo on declarations of love. It fully developed the collectivism and hierarchy of the traditional Chinese culture to the extent that personal interests, emotional desires and traits should be subdued to the collective needs, such as the work unit, village, society, Party or nation, says Ji Yingchun, a research fellow at the National University of Singapore's Asia Research Institute.
But with economic development and globalization, some Chinese are now becoming more vocal about tender feelings.
|
|
Meiyan, a Beijing housewife and part-time worker, who declined to give her full name to protect her privacy, says "I love you" to her daughter almost every day. She has also taught the 6-year-old to say the words back.
The 32-year-old mother says she has never spoken those three words to her parents, although she sometimes wants to. But her parents, farmers in Hebei province, would not understand why she's saying it and might think something is wrong.
So instead, she is empowering the next generation with the words.
"She will be able to say what is in her heart," Meiyan says.
And how often does she tell her husband "I love you"? "Rarely," she says. "And I never say the words first."
Certain cultures, families and couples do have their own language of love. Hundreds of millions of Chinese speak theirs every day.
Contact the writer at tiffany@chinadaily.com.cn.
Related: Learning the language of affection
Sun Ye contributed to this report.
