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No meeting of minds

By Xu Lin | China Daily | Updated: 2017-02-08 07:08

"You have to be really careful and think if he is the one with whom you can spend your life."

Jin Songmin, 36, invited her parents to Beijing instead of going back home to Hebei province for the usually weeklong festival holiday this year. Her parents not only understand that she is busy and under a great deal of work pressure, but they also rarely bring up the topic of marriage before her.

It's a different matter for her extended family.

"It's better to avoid meeting my relatives. Or else, I have to politely tell them that I don't have a boyfriend. If I say I have one in order to end such talk, they will then ask, 'When are you getting married?'" Jin says.

She studied fine arts in London and started her own company in Beijing in June.

"I enjoy my single life. I will only marry someone I love, not under pressure," she says. "It's OK to meet the one I love when I'm in my 40s or even 50s."

If she spends time on work and her friends, she will have both financial rewards and lasting relationships. Besides, it's risky to invest in marriage as the outcome is uncertain.

Zhang Xuan, who works in her hometown, Chengdu, Sichuan province, feels such pressure not just during the festival season, because she often meets her parents and relatives.

"They are anxious that I don't have a boyfriend yet and I may get married as late as 30. It's not my concern at all. I just haven't found the right person. I'm surprised that a friend joked I was one of the 'leftover women'," says Zhang, who is vice-president of a gameplay company at age 26.

While Chinese women feel most of the social pressure, there are plenty of similar examples among Chinese men.