C'mon, you wore them. You know you did! There
aren't many among us who can't recall a few cringe-worthy faux pas as we rode a
trend toward fashion infamy. Here, we recall the worst of the worst -- and offer recommendations to make sure you
never ever go down that road again.
1. Acid-Wash and Ripped Jeans
There's nothing like a pair of comfortable, worn-in jeans -- but this worn?
In the '80s, your choices were jeans that looked like bleach had spilled on
them, or jeans that looked like you tussled with a shredder. Nothing much looked
good with them. And neither provided the clean, vertical lines that make legs
look long.
Nowadays, we know the look that flatters almost everyone: Dark rinse, bootcut
jeans that sit slightly lower than the waist.
2. Shoulder Pads
Maybe it was armor for busting through that glass ceiling. Or maybe women
were trying to fit into the male-dominated workplace by looking like
linebackers. Whatever the reason, shoulder pads -- the kind that added an inch
or more of height -- were very, very wrong.
That doesn't mean shoulder pads should be banished into fashion oblivion. In
fact, if you are round-shouldered, you might find they can square off your
shoulders nicely. Look for jackets with more understated versions sewn under the
lining. (Never shirts, which look too obviously padded.)
3. Flannel
It's good for lumberjacks and for people who live in chilly Seattle, but on
the rest of us, flannel looked frumpy and silly. Worn open over an old concert
T-shirt -- Kurt Cobain-style -- the situation got even worse.
Those looking for warm but more flattering styles should stick with this
season's cozy sweaters, like vintage-inspired cardigans, adorned with a brooch,
or a crocheted poncho.
4. The Dancer Look
Most of us are not professional dancers. So why did we once insist on
dressing like them, complete with leg warmers, ripped sweatshirts, and braided
headbands? Who did we think we were fooling? And this was just street wear. At
the gym it got even worse: unitards, leotards cut waaay over the hip, and even
thong bodysuits worn over biker shorts.
Still, there is something cool about that Jennifer Beals; she was on to
something good. The key is to go for one element of dancer style and leave it at
that. Ballet slipper flats, wrap sweaters, and chignons are classic, easy ways
to convey a bit of dancer chic.
5. Tie-Dye
Like a bad flashback, this style keeps popping up at least once each decade
-- and still lives on today. Fun to make at home -- not so fun to remember. The
color combinations -- bright, psychedelic -- flattered almost no one. And
whether you live the lifestyle or not, there's no getting away from the fact
that tie-dye gives off a certain slacker vibe.
Love color? You can still wear it in a more polished way. Try unexpected
combinations, like pink and red, or brown and plum. Or try to bring color in
with accessories, like red shoes, a turquoise necklace, or a bright belt.
6. Bad Hair Accessories
Big hair wasn't enough in the '80s. We had to further adorn the wall of
hairsprayed hair with ribbon barrettes and feathers on a clip. And those without
long, overstyled hair were still in luck. They could tuck still-growing-in locks
into unflattering banana clips to sport a kinda pontytail/kinda Mohawk.
Today's hair accessories (thank goodness) are a little more understated. To
play if safe, stick with simple looks, like tortoiseshell ponytail holders or
slim silver barrettes. You'll never have to burn photos of yourself in those.