This has been a trying year for fashion. While many loveable styles
surfaced - long shirts a la Jackie O., flowing Bohemian skirts and sensible
shoes - far worse trends arose much to our horror. There is no destruction of
evil in fashion, only transference.
Thankfully, 2006 saw the retirement of short T-shirts. Few people wear these
well. Short shirts chop the body in half visually, creating the appearance of a
pudgy middle. And, when the wearer lifts her arms, the stomach shows, assaulting
the sight of innocent bystanders. When men wear these shirts, they look like
teenaged boys. Hand the shirts down to your younger siblings before you get to
college.
Healthwise, the death of bottle tans comes with the end of summer, when
people realized that if you have a fresh-from-the-beach tan in January, others
will know the source. Fake tans are just that - fake. They also set a high
standard of bronze-ness, which encourages the use of tanning beds and beaches.
In the age of skin cancer, fair skin is a much healthier trend. Scarlett O'Hara
of "Gone with the Wind" was envied for her fair skin and was often covered with
hats, gloves and scarves. The less sun exposure, the better skin will age.
Besides, who wants orange skin? Beauty is about being natural.
Keeping on the natural note, glitter finally made its way out the door after
far too many years in the mainstream. Glitter is for teenaged girls and Las
Vegas showgirls. You're not at prom, so drop the sparkly look.
As always, Hollywood influences fashion, often negatively. Starlets Mischa
Barton, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears all sported teacup pups. Pets are not
accessories. Dogs do not enjoy shopping. Hilton even sported a kinkajou, Baby
Luv, until the pet was confiscated for being illegal.
Other styles unfortunately came to life in 2006, including baby doll tops.
While cute on the rack, these should be excluded to the maternity section. All
we can think when we see a girl sporting this look is, "When is she due?"
Free T-shirts, while popular among college students, are not for public wear.
They're great for lounging or working out, but not much else. Rarely do free
shirts fit well, and they turn the wearer into a walking advertisement.
Especially bad is when girls wear free shirts with designer jeans and heels.
That's just trashy.
What makes us cringe the most, though, are visible bra straps. By all means,
keep wearing your bras, ladies, just don't let the straps show. Strapless bras
do exist.