Tianjin through the generations

By Paula Taylor (JIN Magazine)
Updated: 2013-01-10

Mr. and Mrs. Wang's wedding photo in front of the Tian An Men Square. [Photos provided to China Daily]

For those of you that have lived here for some time and get out and about in the city, you will have seen first hand the rapid development of Tianjin. Indeed since I came here four years ago Tianjin has changed almost beyond recognition.

What must life have been like 10, 20 or 50 years ago. We can study history and look at some of the old buildings to get a glimpse of the past, but by far the best way to have an insight on this is to look through the eyes of the older generation of Tianjiners and find out what life was like back then. No doubt things were hard. Tianjin neither had the money nor the investment by outside parties as did Beijing. Many Tianjiners lived very basic lives, in fact back then, at the time of China’s momentous change, anyone with money was viewed as undesirable. A friend’s grandmother who came from a privileged background found that the tables had indeed turned when she wanted to get married. At that time it was fashionable, no a requirement that all people be the same. Her background and family status went from being very high, to very low and there were not many suitors. Where once upon a time her wealth would have meant a steady stream of suitors beating a path to her door, it now repelled them.

Another friend’s mother and father are extremely short in height, this is not the normal Asian short stature. They are diminutive even for Chinese people. Her mother explained that because their families were so poor, when their mothers were pregnant they didn’t get sufficient nutrients through the food they were eating so many babies born back then were underdeveloped and underweight. I can’t stand how people here order much more food than they can eat in restaurants and then waste it. Chinese people explain that people were so poor in the past, but now they don’t have this problem and don’t have to worry about where the next meal is coming from, so to waste food shows they have money. Sometimes when after having eaten with friends I survey the vast amount of food still left on the table and say “Let’s get a doggy bag”, they are embarrassed and say “Just leave it, it doesn’t matter”.

I fear that with the city’s rapid development, many of the features of the past will be eradicated and soon the only place to see them, apart from designated places like Gu Wen Hua Jie and wu da dao, they will just be a distant memory for the older ones, and younger Tianjiners not even aware of their city’s roots. There seems to a “Off with the old, on with the new” mentality. Many of the hutongs are disappearing and are being replaced with shiny, new tall buildings many with no character at all. The older generation do not seem to in mourning for the old Tianjin, they also celebrate the city’s rebirth.

Finally had the wedding photo shot 50 years later. [Photos provided to China Daily]

We interviewed a family to find out what life was like in the old days in Tianjin. Wang Chang Nian, the father, Wang Cui Lian, the mother and Wang Wei the son. Wang Chang Nian was born in 1936, and Wang Cui Lian was born 1938, they are both from Shanxi. Wang Cui Lian, came to Tianjin before China was liberated to work. In 1949 Mao Zedong at Tiananmen announced that “The People’s Republic of China has been established, Chinese people are their own masters”. As you know this heralded great change for China and at that time people were confident, the national fervour was running high. Wang Chang Nian was already here in Tianjin. He had a problem and so it was difficult for him to marry – he was considered too tall, at 1.8metres he was viewed with suspicion. Eventually someone from his hometown and who he worked with said “If you are willing to become my son, I am willing to give you my daughter. Wang Chang Nian agreed and thus the marriage deal was sealed.

Love was very different back then, nowadays there are couples openly displaying affection for each other on the streets, in the parks, even in the bus shelters. When Wang Wei’s parents met, these tactile displays were unheard of. However that is not to say that theirs is not a true love story. If they were to sum up their time together, they would tell you that they have never had a cross word. In those days marriages were built to last, and although it would be impossible for them to tell each other they love each other, they show that they really care for each other in other ways. Their son had never seen them openly display affection for each other,

Wang Wei again tells us how he envies his parents’ marriage. He feels that today it is very difficult to understand the kind of loyal love that his parents have, and although they are so undemonstrative, he was amazed that when his father was sick, his mother accompanied him in the hospital from the time it opened, to the time it closed. Nothing unusual about that, most wives would do that if they could, but what Wang Wei was amazed to see, was that his mother never let go of his father’s hand, she kept fast hold of it and repeated over and over “I am afraid you will die, I don’t want you to die”. Prior to this Wang Wei had never seen any displays of affection between his parents before and when his father was released from the hospital, they went back to their usual quiet relationship, not touching each other, nor even speaking much to each other. Wang Wei says “I can’t even understand how they have lived together all these years, so quietly, side by side, I can’t understand it but I envy them their peace and harmony. Most people like the hong hong lie lie kind of life, but my parents are xiang ru yi mo ”. He has used two idioms, hong means blast or explosion and lie means fiery, ardent. Xiangruyimo literally means to moisten with saliva, but the meaning is sharing meagre resources/mutual help in humble circumstances, you get the picture. Lots of old people here have hobbies, some of them go dancing in the parks at night, but when I asked about their hobbies, I was told that Wang Cui Lian was too busy looking after her husband. As long as his health was okay, she was happy. They don’t go out much, preferring instead to stay inside with just each other for company. They have now been married 50 years – obviously their marriage philosophy works, but then again they are from a different era. In those days nobody got divorced, it was unthinkable. Any problems that they faced as a family were to be faced together.

Weddings were much more simple in those days too. They simply got married but there was no reception, and their honeymoon consisted of a trip to Beijing. Although the world is a much smaller place now, there of course was no fast train to take them from Tianjin to Beijing, the train that took them was much slower, so Beijing seemed much further away. They thought it a great adventure to stand before the Forbidden Palace, two newlyweds at their start of their life together, at the start of the new China, two tremendous changes for a young couple to face. The weddings these days are extragavant affairs, there are the expensive photo albums to arrange, the fleet of red cars, the fireworks and that is aside from the reception itself. This family are slightly different in that they are devout Catholics. In those times no doubt it was not popular to have a faith but they followed it nevertheless. Consequently they always wanted a proper wedding and as you can see from the picture, many years later Wang Cui Lian achieved her dream to have a proper wedding and wear a wedding dress. This picture capturing those memories is a treasured possession. I find it very moving when you consider what some people have as dreams. All she wanted was to recapture the moment when she pledged herself to her husband.

She worked as a doctor and her husband worked as a university teacher – these are considered to be good jobs nowadays but back then there was no special status accorded to educated persons, in fact it was the peasants and farmers that were the important ones back then. Therefore their salaries were quite modest, as a university teacher he earned 55 yuan per month. Obviously people were a lot more satisfied with their lives in those days as almost everybody was in the same boat, there was no trying to keep up with the neighbours materially speaking, as the neighbours didn’t necessary have anything that others felt that they too had to acquire. The salaries they earned, although did not allow for any luxuries, were sufficient for their needs.

Giving birth was yet another experience that was different. Nowadays women that have children are generally all given caesarians. There are several reasons for this, it means that the delivery time can be controlled so women are given an appointment to give birth. The sheer number of people here means that everything has to take place as quickly as possible in order to make room for the next set of pregnant women waiting. Chinese women do not like pain, so they welcome this arrangement. I personally think that Chinese women are so slightly bit and so slim that natural childbirth would not be easy anyway. Back than Caesarians were only an option for women that had trouble giving birth, and it was a matter of pride to deliver the baby with as least assistance as possible. Women were a lot stronger back then, which is amazing considering they had less food to eat and none of the modern conveniences we have. I suppose the pollution and pesticides we have these days are responsible for our food not having as much nutrition.

The Son

Wang Wei himself did not follow their faith and when he grew up and got married, his parents were disappointed that he went through a divorce. They told him “You should join our religion because Catholics do not get divorced”. He decided they were right and in 2007 converted to this faith, after which he met his second wife, also a practising Catholic. He says “I can relax and not worry that my wife will leave me as she also does not believe in divorce”. This second marriage was also a modest affair as he has learned from his parents’ example that what is needed to have a successful marriage is not a lot of money, and it is not a showy display of wealth that some weddings are. He didn’t have a lavish reception, or the red cars etc., he just invited the few friends that had helped to arrange things to eat with them.

Wang Wei told me he clearly remembers when his parents started smoking and drinking, it was after the earthquake of 1976, Everybody slept under the bed in case of a recurrence, but there was no room under the bed for his parents so as they were so nervous that they tried to relax themselves by imbibing before sleeping. Incidentally, the women that usually smoke in China are those of the older generation, 60 years and up, although some young women have started they are generally regarded as rebels.

In those days everybody knew their neighbours, and easy thing as everybody lived in a courtyard with several other families. The children seemed to be regarding as community responsibility and at meal times would be regularly fed by whoever happened to be dishing up the food. Wang Wei fondly remembers his neighbour’s cooking was much better than that of his parents as the neighbour added a lot of oil to their food, which is considered to make the food more delicious. Therefore at mealtimes many children presented themselves for feeding. The neighbour wished to confirm who was who, as if she had argued with a particular family, she would not feed their children. Once as usual she asked “What’s your surname?” Wang Wei answered “My name is Wang”, the neighbour told him to get out. Then she asked the next child who said “My name is Zhang”, the neighbour welcomed him to eat, obviously there was no problem with his parents. However arguments were other small things like somebody putting their cabbages in the public part of the courtyard, thereby preventing everybody else from using the space. How different from today when nobody cares about anybody else. Wang Wei noted that today when people argue with others, it is often violent and the police have to become involved.

I think it must have been nice to have this kind of close relationship with one’s neighbours, my habit is to offer a greeting to the people I meet on the stairs to my block, but sometimes people just ignore me, or if I am on the stairs and see someone trying to open the door, they are flustered and try to get in before I reach them. Maybe it is because I am a foreigner and they are afraid. Wang Wei also laments the change in the dynamics of neighbour relations. He has lived at his present house for 6 years but does not know his neighbours. He is on greeting terms with an elderly neighbour from downstairs, but that is all. When his own son was born he took him to show the neighbour, but in the old days the whole compound would have been delighted to celebrate the birth of a child.

Now he has his own child, no doubt he will contrast it with his own childhood. I told him I know that children here have lot of pressure on them, particularly when it comes to schoolwork. One mother told me “Of course we have to give our children lots of pressure, if other people’s children get good exam results and my child does not I will really lose face”. However Wang Wei begged to differ, he said “I don’t think children today have more pressure than what I had, I think I had a lot of pressure when I was young. The school environment these days makes studying very easy. My son is just a year and a half old but he already knows how to say some English words. Also I can help my son to do things, such as buy a house when he needs it. Today’s children do not have to worry about getting enough to eat, they can eat and sleep well, isn’t that a good thing? They don’t have to worry about money, that is the parents job. They have a lot of things we did not have, they have mobile phones and computers, they are a lot of things they can do for entertainment. When I stayed in the countryside I saw that the children there did not receive any pampering from their parents, they had to go to school by themselves, and sometimes this meant using the mountain roads. These days, as long as the children eat and sleep on time and as long as they do not wet the bed, their parents really praise them. When I was young I had to do a lot of things to get the same kind of praise. Children get so much from their parents but I personally do not want my child to lean on me forever. Of course I will pay his schools fees and provide financial support when he gets married and help him buy a house, but when he is an adult he must not rely on me too much, after all when I die, who is going to support him then? As far as children having pressure to do well in their studies is concerned, this competition is not between the children, it is between the parents, they are the competitive ones. For instance my wife wanted to take our son to a meeting and the first thing she thought about was what to put on our child, because there his clothing must be of the same standard as the other children, it cannot be of a poorer quality. Even things like the boxes of baby milk formula are inspected very carefully. Everyone wants to know whose child has the best test marks, whose child studies the best etc. Children are innocent, they don’t really care about these things”.

When I put it to him that I thought women were stronger in those days, he disagreed with me, he thinks that women these days are strong, but in a different way, not physically but emotionally and mentally. These days women do not need to rely on their husbands so much, they can do things for themselves. However he acknowledges that as his wife has gone through childbirth he now thinks that women are capable of anything. I think most women would agree that if men had to go through childbirth perhaps we humans as a species would die out!

Wang Wei feels that it is much harder to bring up children now. In the old days people had many children and the older children helped to look after the younger ones. These days parents have one thing on their minds and that is to make money. The reason for this is that everything needs money whereas back then people’s expectations and requirements were much lower. Now we need to buy many things for our children. We have to give our children things we did not have when growing up, we have to buy the best clothes, the best toys etc”. I asked him if he agreed that people’s attitude to money is different now and he agreed, he said “After I had my child I started to think that money is really really important. We can do anything with money, sometimes just working hard is not enough. Before, everybody was the same and nobody had more than anybody else, but it is different today, there are so many things that we want to buy.

The surprising thing is that if you ask your parents if they prefer their lives now or back then, they will probably tell you that when they were young, things were much better, everybody knew their neighbours, there was not so much crime, people had more time for each other and although everybody was poorer they were still happy. However if you ask the older generation in Tianjin which days are best, they will tell you that their lives are much better now and the first reason they say it is better is because everybody has enough to eat and. Doesn’t that tell us a lot about humans? We don’t actually need much in the way of material possessions, just enough to eat, clothes to wear and somewhere to live. A wise man once said “Give me neither poverty nor riches”. It is a shame that these days we are defined as a person by what we have and not by who we are.