Expats

Secrets of a successful expat life revealed

By Patrick Whiteley (China Daily)
Updated: 2009-10-27 13:12

There is a time for everything, wrote King Solomon.

A time to give birth, and a time to die; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. There is a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.

And I'm sure that wise old king would have said there is a time for every expat to leave China.

My departure time has come and it's zaijian Beijing and gidday to my hometown of Sydney, Australia.

But before I go, lend me your ears so I can tell you valuable advice learnt during my three years three months in the Middle Kingdom (that's 1185 days, but who's counting?).

The Number 1 piece of advice is not to listen to any advice from expats wanting to tell you stuff, especially a dummy like me.

It's much more fun working it out yourself.

So instead, I'll just tell you how it all panned out for me, and there might be something useful that works for you. Of course learning Chinese is vital, but I didn't start until after the first year because I wasn't really sure if I would hang around. If I had the chance again, I would have found a teacher from day one. If you're not sure about staying, start learning the language anyway.

But my most important survival tool wasn't my bad Chinese, it was keeping my head clear and positive.

Acceptance was the key to maintaining my sanity.

When I totally accepted my Chinese colleagues and friends had a different way of thinking, and that was cool, things went well. But often my natural default was to think: "This is different so it must be wrong."

My China experience made me aware how narrow-minded I had become and that once size does not fit all. "Viva la difference," my French friends rightly say.

It is with great sadness I say goodbye to all my dear friends (both Chinese and international) I've made over the past three years. But I'm pulling the pin (stopping) and I'm on the frog and toad (leaving), and I'm going to a place where I don't have to explain what these expressions mean.

And it's not only the Chinese who are baffled by my Aussie tribe's slang. Many English-speaking expats from all over the world are confused too. There are about 200 nations in the world and each tribe has their own special culture, special way of thinking and different way of doing things. And it's all good.

I've been hearing this global village hype, and how the Internet has brought everyone together and we are now are living in the same village. It's a nice romantic idea, but I don't buy it anymore.

Beijing is kind of global village and I know so many different types of people from all over the world. And for while it's very interesting, but 200 cultures for me is too many to really comprehend without simply stereotyping. Not in one lifetime anyway.

China has taught me that the world is very huge, I am very small, and I'm just one of 6 billion, eating, drinking and trying my best to be happy.

For some reason, this realization gives me peace and I'll keep this healthy attitude for the rest of life.

Thank you China.

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