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Still young at heart but years ahead

By Huang Yuli (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-05-06 08:07

Ever since I turned 20, my teenager cousin seems to have developed a problem with my age. "How old are you?" is the question she deliberately asks every time I meet her during the Spring Festival, and I could hear the stress on the word "old".

This year, I finally got to fight back and be mean for once when I unexpectedly found out she was 19. "Well in no more than a year you're 20 and then 30 will come very soon." But she was totally unfazed. I could see the pride in her heavily eyelinered eyes.

Later on, I got to thinking about age. Is it the reason my cousin behaved so arrogantly, I wondered?

It occurs to me that I was there before her. When I was still in my freshman year in college, my tone was no more modest.

My college classmate Jennifer acted exactly the same way; she liked making fun of "old" postgraduates and PhDs chasing after her; she once teased a PhD attending the freshmen's party that he was an old monster, which made him almost die of shame.

It now seems inconceivable how sarcastic and conceited we were at that time, but then young people generally feel good about themselves, and stick their noses up at everything.

I couldn't help but ponder: Is there any invisible energy source hiding somewhere inside them? And does it get on the nerves of anyone older?

If it does, then I must be one of the older ones, because the fact that my cousin has grown into a big girl who dares to laugh at me irritates me. For quite a long time she regarded me as a role model; I still remember when she was a little girl and followed me around all the time. Is the power shift between us panicking me?

My friend Hedel, a middle aged R&D manager, said I was too tough on my cousin. He does feel the pressure of younger staff who are more enthusiastic and energetic, but he is inclined to be tolerant with them and tries to change the relationship between them from a covert competition to a harmonious coexistence.

"Young people do threaten you in some ways because they learn much faster and are more aggressive; but there's no need to worry they'll weaken your strength. For one thing, they're not experienced enough. For another, nobody can actually weaken you but yourself," he advised me.

And that does make sense. It seems like the panic of the older generations stems from jealousy. But it's no use trying to suppress the power of anyone young, because that is like trying to stop the tide coming in. It's a force of nature: being young means being fresh, dynamic and rebellious.

However, there is actually nothing for anyone to worry about, because the golden age of youth has a very short shelf life, and those youngsters who are wild and iconoclastic now will soon mature and have responsibilities of their own. So what if they don't respect us. It's just a passing state-of-mind, and who hasn't been young once?

In the end I decided to be nicer to my cousin and later I heard from my former classmate Jennifer and learned that she's been dating a PhD for several months. I was not surprised; what goes around comes around.