Life

Time to end women's overflowing entitlement

By Fred Yang (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-10-13 08:11

When many visionary scientists rhapsodize their well-grounded speculations about how the Law of Evolution will work on the human race in the unforeseeable future, incipient signs of these changes have already stealthily expressed themselves in the gender roles.

With the advent of an era inhabited by numerous herbivorous men and carnivorous women, it is not strange that men all neatly spruce up, humming out gentle lyrics, while women bellow out rock music in the intimidating and provocative accoutrement.

The pastoral practice of women waiting on their husbands hand and foot at home and men sweating it out over the farmland and bringing back the bacon have long gone, and taking its place are vigorous appeals made for more women's rights and modern men happily letting their sassy wives lead them by the nose.

We become more accommodating to things that the old-timers wouldn't dare dream of, and the frontiers of our tastes advanced without bounds too. That is why it confounds me that our attitude still condones radical feminism.

Chinese women suffered from servitude and abhorrent bias from family and society in the past, so it is understandable they deserve tons of serious reforms and access to privileges over men to level things off.

But under the aegis of favored treatment for decades, women nowadays, especially these urban ones, are hardly damsels in distress any more. They've caught up with men, and are no longer in desperate need of a knight's rescue.

Many of them have grown up vibrant and outspoken and have taken pride in pulling themselves up by their bootstraps.

But still, women have special rights ordained by law that men don't. They can get alimony after a divorce and enjoy preferential treatment in academia and the workplace, even though they are supposedly equal to men. They also, by nature, fare better turning on the waterworks when they feel frustrated, pressured, or simply to make their male opponents step back by inducing guilt and embarrassment.

When those natural and manmade advantages prevail more evidently, a sense of female entitlement creeps in.

Whether in real life or reality TV shows, some women pull no punches in showing their aggressive color, yet lose no time in exploiting their wrongfully-entrenched vulnerable image. This tortured notion of feminism sometimes makes them finicky and ungrateful in their treatment of potential dates and makes them take for granted help from their male friends.

Some women, on one hand, demand men have a house and car to be qualified for marriage, but lash out, on the other hand, against any venial manly foibles that touch their self-esteem.

This unseemly new spirit in fact creates a system that continues to convey the message that women are vulnerable and dependent. These entitlements do not give edges to women, but lock women into feeling like a pampered child.

So, just when we celebrate the concrete achievement we've accomplished in equalizing men and women, it's time to go deeper and make amends on the psychological level.

Don't let the physical differences between men and women stand in the way, but use the unique female flairs to cover the gaps. Men do perform better in some fields, but they are also put in the shade by women when it comes to other sectors. So, we can't just let a few prejudices get blown out of proportion, after all, if we're all the same, what's the point of having social division of labor?

The stereotyped idea of women being weaker than men cannot be eradicated by mandated policy or womanlike tantrums.

Only when females feel secure enough not to play the feminism card at the drop of a hat will they be fully competent and on a par with men, and much more likely to earn respect and be acknowledged.

Of course, when those avant-garde feminists strive to add new prerogatives onto their lists, perhaps attention should be given to their much more miserable counterparts in some backward areas.

Dear ladies, next time if you lock horns with a man, please give him a hug after the dispute. After all, deep down, he's really treating you like an equal.

China Daily

(China Daily 10/13/2010)