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When it feels like end of the world, don't let it be

By Huang Yuli (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-12-21 08:10

In less than a month, two students, a young woman and a man who were enrolled at Communication University of China, jumped to their deaths, one after another.

It was reported that the woman did so because she couldn't find a good job while the man leapt after a quarrel with his girlfriend.

People feel sorry for such students and their parents but also note how fragile today's young people seem to be because they sometimes end their lives over such trivial issues.

Human beings are sentimental, I agree sometimes people fall into extreme emotions and cannot lift themselves out of pits of despair.

A friend told me that he thought moods go in cycles and for a while you just stay at the bottom of that circle and feel really bad.

In fact, you can try many ways to ease extreme feelings such as, when you feel like a complete loser, comparing yourself with people around you who are less fortunate than you, or even those who admire you. Or you can relive a glorious moment from your history that you're proud of, and recall that time, again and again, until you're charged with confidence again. I know that's very Forrest Gump and seems like you are deceiving yourself, but dumb ideas work and sometimes you do need them.

There might be another way that you can more easily break out of a depression.

Have you noticed that, whatever happens, however it impacts you, when you look back on it 10 years later, you think about it totally differently? Something that you thought meant so much at that time can barely be remembered 10 years later.

So, think about how you will feel in 10 years time after something bad happens that you cannot get out of your head. Will you be able to look back at it calmly and realize how tiny the issue was in the long run of life? I bet you will.

How many 10-year periods do we get in a life? Six, seven, or eight? If we keep that in mind, we'll cherish more happy moments and forget about the bad ones more quickly.

The two students who gave up their lives, if there is another world after death, might regret what they did because, as an outsider, not being able to find a good job seems like a very common problem to me.

But you never know how that problem will pan out. She might have started her own business and become very successful.

The young man, if he hoped to use his death to impress his girlfriend, made a big mistake - how much of a role might this girl have played in his life? Or what might have happened if they had broken up and found someone new?

I wondered about this when I read an article about high school reunions.

Such meetings are a common subject on forums and in the media because there are always full of people who feel lost and frustrated in front of their friends' success and fortune, especially when most of the time these achievers were not as successful when they were back in high school.

The writer of one of these stories felt inadequate when she attended a reunion in her 30s. The difference perceived from the surface was huge: some former classmates had BMW sports cars and some did not have a decent job. But when she went to the meeting again 10 years later when she was in her 40s, people were no longer talking about wealth but about health because some of the classmates had already passed away.

They realized the amount of money you make doesn't matter because you cannot take it with you when you die. So, at that meeting, the author forgot about how frustrated she felt 10 years earlier and joined in the talk about keeping fit and living a healthy life.

A little frustration in your 20s will be nothing when you turn 30 or 40.

There are always ups and downs in life. You know there are always peaks after valleys, you just don't know when they will arrive.

Life is not predictable, but surely that is why it attracts us, isn't it?

You might say it's always easier said than done, I know that. But think of it as an option; think of how you will view your life today 10 years from now the next time you feel like it's the end of the world. It never is.