From the Readers

Spare the rod, spoil the child

(chinadaily.com.cn)
Updated: 2011-04-19 17:09

Comment on "Character building is as important as high scores" (China Daily website on April 19)

Children must learn the right things from a young age. This is the most basic law from nature. Mankind can shape a twig with wires and that twig will grow into a branch. Man cannot shape a branch, it will only snap. So using this as nature's lesson we can help our children grow and become good people. In other words, we can shape their future.

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However, one thing stands out. We are human beings and we have that thing called a brain. Parents can use the carrot or the stick to shape their kids. Whether they should be tiger parents or not, also depends on the kids too. It is the same with twigs. Some are hardy some are easy to shape.

I believe there is no specific hard and fixed rule and there are exceptions. Perhaps genes and DNA are in play. The inbuilt characters of kids are important. Some kids are stubborn when young but as they mature later on in life they begin to show their true character and they put into practice what their parents taught them. On the other hand, some fine kids turn into poor citizens as they grow older. Maybe the people they mix around have bad influences. Anything can be the cause.

Little emperors and empresses may be the darlings of their parents and grandparents. They may be spoilt, but I believe the adults have only good things in mind. Good things mean just that. Chinese adults will use the "stick" whenever necessary. I do not think it is right to blame the adults too much since it has been our custom for parents to teach kids to do the right things and be good adults and most definitely good citizens.

The author might have seen some cases of mothers telling their kids to throw things out of the windows or dirtying public places, but it does not mean that all the Chinese parents are guilty of such improper behavior. It cannot be the English saying: "one bad apple spoils the rest" logic. Generally it applies to fruits, but we are human beings.

Young people must know or be taught to know that kissing may be fun, but it may also be deadly. Bacteria and diseases are passed on from one to the other (either they are loved birds or they did it as a result of lust and bad influence).

Science and health are fully aware that there are bacteria in our mouth and in our saliva. It is a fact that passionate kissing will most likely be a channel of transmitting diseases. If one does not catch any disease well and good, but the luck will not always stay.

I believe we all have our unique ways of bringing up our kids. There cannot be a perfect way which all people can follow. It is just like our fingerprints, no one print is the same. China has 1.3 billion people and that means 1.3 billion prints.

The West should also accept that their way in doing things may be good for them, but they cannot apply it worldwide.

HsunTze on China Daily website

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