As an increasing number of foreigners come to live in China, traditional mores and values are constantly being challenged, especially those concerning sexuality. Tang Yue reports.

If, as some sociologists claim, tolerance of minority lifestyles can be taken as a measure of a city's potential creativity, can the theory also be applied to a country?

The past four decades have seen China rise to become the world's second-largest economy, and that growth has attracted talented people from across the world who contribute to the country's development.

Some initially struggle to assimilate with China's unique culture and social mores, but the open-mindedness displayed by residents of China's larger cities is making the expat life far easier, especially for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, or LGBT, who say they have noticed a growing acceptance of their lifestyles.

Hunt (not his real name) had never met a gay person until six years ago when he wandered into a gay bar in Shanghai at age 26. The Palestinian national has lived in the city ever since, and frequently organizes events for people of minority sexual orientation.

"I was very shy back then and never imagined doing what I do today," he said, adding that in the Middle East, "it's too complicated to come out."

As he spoke he was interrupted by a call from his Chinese boyfriend who was on his way from the airport to meet Hunt. He had traveled from his home in Lanzhou in northwestern Gansu province, about 2,000 kilometers from Shanghai, to celebrate his birthday with Hunt.

According to a 2011 study conducted by the University of California, an estimated 3.5 percent of adults in the United States identified themselves as lesbian, gay or bisexual, and an estimated 0.3 percent defined themselves as transgender. Studies in other countries showed similar results.

While there are no official figures about China's gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender population, if the numbers reflect those seen in surveys conducted overseas, LGBT people would account for 3 to 5 percent of the population; somewhere between 40 million, similar to Argentina, and 70 million, like Turkey, but certainly larger than that of Canada.

Expat vs local

Large cities such as Beijing and Shanghai, hosts to some of China's biggest universities and international companies, are the most popular locations for LGBT people, especially expats.

"I had a boyfriend from the UK. We'd hold hands on the street in Beijing, be close, and not be bothered at all, as we fear people do in the US and elsewhere," said Stephen Leonelli, a US national who worked as a volunteer at the Beijing LGBT Center from 2010 until 2013.

"However, I know a lot of Chinese wouldn't agree with that statement, because they have family ties, and family members ask a lot of questions. But being foreigners, we kind of skip all that," said the 28-year-old, who is studying in the Master of Public Policy Program at Harvard University.

Joel Eames, a 34-year-old from Sydney who used to work for a multinational company in Guangzhou, Guangdong province, echoed Leonelli's view. "I didn't feel bound by the social norms because I was an outsider in a foreign place. I could tell there were gay Chinese people at work. They were obviously gay but they were not out; when they talked about themselves, they would express an interest in girls, and go along with the jokes and pretend they had a girlfriend."

China is a less-foreign culture to Astha Dalakoti, who was born in New Delhi, but spent her early years - from 3 to 13 - in Beijing. Her family later moved to Vancouver, but she returned to the Chinese capital four and a half years ago.

"In North America, a lot of religious values are attached to gayness, but in China you don't really have that," the 28-year-old said, adding that although she is happy to show some degree of public intimacy with her fiancee in Beijing, she doesn't do so in smaller cities. "It was not that we were afraid. I just felt it would make people there uncomfortable.

"I once conducted some street interviews, and a lot of people said, 'I don't have an opinion on gay people, but I don't know any.' They probably don't know that some of their friends are gay. It also reflects Chinese culture a little, because even if people feel uncomfortable, they won't say so to your face," she said.

The existence of homosexuality in China has been well documented since ancient times. Adult, consensual, non-commercial same-sex behavior was decriminalized in 1997, and homosexuality was removed from the Ministry of Health's list of mental illnesses four years later. However, China still doesn't recognize same-sex marriage.

According to a 2013 survey of LGBT people conducted by Aibai Culture & Education Center in Beijing, 93 percent of the 2,161 respondents said they were not fully out in their workplace, because they feared discrimination or a negative impact on their careers. Respondents who worked for the government or State-owned enterprises expressed a greater degree of concern than those in private and multinational companies.

However, as a sign of the changing times, the first annual China LGBT Talent Job Fair was held in Shanghai in April, and attracted 17 companies and 400 Chinese job-seekers.

Familymatters

While Chinese LGBT people are increasingly prepared to come out to their friends and even colleagues, they find it much harder to tell their parents, especially given that most of them are the only child of the family and are expected to continue the bloodline.

Born into a Chinese-Malaysian family in Penang, Malaysia, Raymond Phang, 24, has been in a relationship with Shanghai native Ariel (not his real name) for four years. Whenever he travels back to Malaysia, Phang brings gifts for his boyfriend's parents, but neither man has come out to their families. "They might have already sensed what's going on between us, but I don't think it's necessary to speak to them about it and make them face it directly," Ariel said.

Jack Smith, from the United Kingdom, and his Chinese husband, Eddy (not his real name), met online in 2009, when Smith was studying in Beijing and Eddy was at college in the UK.

Last year, they tied the knot in the northern English city of York, Smith's hometown. The ceremony was attended by Eddy's parents and one of his cousins, plus more than 100 friends and well-wishers.

"The fact that his parents were there meant so much to us. They (the two sets of parents) didn't speak the same language, but they seemed to get along well and laughed a lot," Smith said.

Although they travel to Eddy's small hometown to visit his parents every two months, the couple has not yet come out to the whole family, and he is still concerned that being openly gay in public and the media could result in "unnecessary annoyance" for his parents.

Planning to move on

Sarah (not her real name), from South Korea, and her 26-year-old fiancee, Amber, from Shanghai feel equally blessed, mainly because of the attitude shown by Amber's family. Sarah came out to her parents five years ago, shortly after meeting Amber at the University of Michigan where they were both students. Sarah's parents found it difficult to accept their daughter's sexuality, but that wasn't the case with Amber's relatives, who have always been very supportive.

"Even her grandma knows about us and has no problem. It's really a fairytale. Sometimes I joke about what a freak family she has," Sarah said with a laugh.

When the couple moved to Shanghai from the US two years ago, Amber's employer, Unilever, covered Sarah's travel and relocation costs, even though they are not legally married. Sarah said she finds Shanghai very interesting and friendly, but she and Amber are planning to move to London in October because they want to "live in a place where gay marriage is legal and the relationship can be protected by law".

According to a recent survey conducted by the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association in 51 countries, 38 percent of Chinese respondents were in favor of same-sex marriage, while 34 percent were opposed.

"I hope and believe China will be one of the first countries in Asia to get there (legalize same-sex marriage)," Sarah said.

Some expat LGBT people have been at the forefront of moves to make that happen and build a more welcoming and friendly society for sexual minorities.

When ShanghaiPRIDE was born six years ago, six of the eight founders of the annual LGBT festival that celebrates sexual diversity were expats. "I told myself, I had to do this for at least two years. Then I thought 'let's make it five years'. It's now already the seventh year. I'm glad I was there at the very beginning," said one of the original organizers, Charlene Liu from Malaysia.

This year, the festival will be held from June 5 to 21, and will feature a wide range of events including bike rides, film screenings, networking events for female business professionals, panel discussions and parties.

"You know what the theme for this year is? 'Love is our future'," Liu said, revealing that she will marry her Chinese girlfriend in Hawaii in September. "Her mum loves me. There were so many years when I couldn't accept myself. People should accept themselves first. They shouldn't feel that they don't belong."

Leonelli, the former LGBT center volunteer, said he's been pleased by the rise in the number of reports about LGBT people in China, and by their tenor.

"At the end of the day, no matter whether we are Chinese or American, we have similar dreams and hopes. We want to be happy, we want to be able to express ourselves, we want to have families, and we want to live without fear of discrimination."

Contact the writer at tangyue@chinadaily.com.cn

Revelers attend a LGBT party organized by the UK pavilion at the Shanghai Expo in 2010.

Partygoers at an LGBT event held in a bar in Shanghai in 2009.

Competitors take part in a footrace as part of Shanghai PRIDE in June 2014. Photos by Gao Erqiang / China Daily and Mo Cun / for China Daily

(China Daily 05/20/2015 page6)