Tang Rui and Gai Xiaorui pose for their pre-wedding photos. Photo provided to Shanghai Star

Mothers-in-law in Shanghai are famous tough customers. Zhou Wenting reports on one young man who worked hard to get a nod of approval.

Mothers-in-law in Shanghai are famous for setting very high standards for young men trying to date their daughters. They require potential suitors to not only have impressive looks, academic excellence and brilliant careers, but also have decency, maturity and generosity. The list goes on.

Four years ago, Gai Xiaorui fell for a girl whose mother had pampered her from birth. She was a hard nut to crack - but over time he managed to win the heart of the girl, Tang Rui and her mother, who once urged her daughter to date other men.

Gai and Tang attended the same senior high school but didn't know each other. They had each other in their online messenger service contact lists, but didn't communicate until one day in 2011, when Tang graduated from university and Gai returned from an exchange study program in Belfort, France. They chatted online for a few days before he asked her out.

"He has an adorable smile and we felt close. It was like we had known each other for a long time," says Tang, 25. They continued to date and decided they wanted to be in a relationship in early 2012.

However, she didn't dare tell her mother that she had fallen in love.

"He's very different from the other guys my parents introduced me to. They were all at least five years older than me, had decent jobs and were from affluent families," she says.

Tang was moved by Gai's intelligence and humor. "He makes me happy all the time. Although getting married still seemed something far out of reach, we loved each other and wanted to work for it," she says.

Even after they had been together for several months, Tang's mother would not give her approval, thinking that Gai was too ordinary for her precious daughter. "Even after my mom knew we were together, she urged me to go on several blind dates. Of course I didn’t take them seriously, and every time I shared funny stories about the dates with my boyfriend," Tang says.

In early 2013, Tang's mother requested to meet Gai. "My mom appraised him as a sunny boy, and she hoped that he would make big strides in his career," she says.

Gai continued to hunt for a better job and Tang would talk him up with her mother, telling her stories that showed Gai in a positive light, such as how he got professional certificates to get promoted, washed her slippers after they walked on a beach, and created romantic surprises for her.

On Valentine's Day, he booked a hotel room, displayed tea lights and balloons forming a heart shape, and prepared champagne brought from France.

"It was nice to walk into such a warm and bright room on a freezing day, but soon after I felt I couldn't breathe because of the smoke from the candles. We tasted the champagne while the balloons exploded around us. It was romantic and funny," she giggles.

Tang's parents also arranged their friends and relatives to meet the daughter's boyfriend and give their opinions.

Gai was once invited to a restaurant managed by a friend of Tang's father and was asked to talk to the chef from France. "I knew my parents wanted to test his French proficiency and he really impressed them by speaking French and English alternatively and fluently. I was sure he won some points," Tang says.

After constant effort, Gai landed a good job at a leading insurance company and his salary more than doubled. "My parents are not materialistic. They just hope my living standard won’t be compromised," says Tang.

Her parents finally gave their approval and the couple tied the knot in November.

"It's totally understandable for girls of this age group and their parents to look for future spouses who are mature and have promising jobs. What moved me about her was her purity and lack of snobbery. We were determined to be together and I was striving to make the goal come true," Gai says.