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Turning resolutions into reality

By Xu Haoyu | China Daily | Updated: 2019-01-30 07:49

A woman spends time reading in a big bookstore in Xi'an, Shaanxi province. More young people have become frequent visitors to high-end bookshops in the city. [Photo/Xinhua]

Chen, who works in an internet company, says she'd tried to learn how to cook but gave up the moment the tap water made her hands cold.

She planned to read a book. But she'd give up two minutes after cracking it open.

She wanted to get into shape. She booked a personal coach but stood him up each time because she thought the gym was too far away.

"I make plans," she says.

"But sometimes I feel powerless to follow through. It's too relaxing and enjoyable in my comfort zone. I often fail to push myself out of it."

She finally fulfilled her New Year's resolution to read after a gathering with former high school classmates. She played with her phone silently for nearly an hour to hide her embarrassment when her classmates discussed new books she'd never heard of.

The experience hardened her resolve.

Two days after the gathering, around the new year, Chen started a small book club with her friend, Lu Yi. The group meets every two weeks to discuss the books.

"I've been told since childhood that good habits help us," Chen says.

"But I didn't realize that small steps could make such a huge difference."

Toughening up

Pan also struggled to leave his comfort zone.

Bunker was born with a medical condition that makes him secrete extra tears. The feline also struggles to clean himself since he has a flat face and long fur.

Pan's friends say Pan was initially overwhelmed with anxiety by these unexpected issues.

He'd pace around his home with a bitter smile.

But Pan again stopped dithering and took action.

He repeatedly visited a nearby pet shop to ask about raising a tabby.

He took Bunker to the vet for exams and got eye drops. He started wiping the cat's face and brushing his fur at least twice a day. And he often mops the floor together with a robotic cleaning device to provide a clean environment for the pet.

"Bunker stepped into my life and knocked me out of my comfort zone," Pan says, sitting at his desk with his cat half asleep nearby.

"He opened the door to my heart. This let in troubles and anxieties but also sunlight."

Many people will also make resolutions for the Lunar New Year, which starts on Tuesday.

But 88 percent of New Year's resolutions aren't kept, according to a 2007 study of 3,000 respondents by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol. The study also found 52 percent of respondents started the year confident they'd follow through.

But sometimes the act of making resolutions is satisfying in itself, even if people don't achieve them, US monthly magazine Popular Science quotes Tim Pychyl, a psychologist at Carleton University in Ottawa, as saying.

Chen agrees.

"I feel happy just thinking about realizing goals," she explains.

She plans to continue reading, she says.

Nairobi-based psychologist Kenfrey Kiberenge suggests starting with small, specific goals in a 2013 article in the Kenyan newspaper Daily Nation.

Concentration and concreteness could help people sustain their resolve, she believes.

For instance, plan to not eat any junk food for a month rather than setting the goal of losing 10 kilograms, she suggests.

Goals should also be achievable through controlled action rather than luck. For instance, finding a spouse within a year is a goal that's largely out of your hands.

Resolutions are more sustainable when they're shared because they're mutually beneficial and reinforcing, Italian author Frank Ra says in his 2011 book, A Course in Happiness: An Authentic Happiness Formula for Well-being, Meaning and Flourishing.

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