2009 top ten news

Top 10 stupid thieves

(chinadaily.com.cn)
Updated: 2009-12-22 06:43

Editor's Note: As anyone who has ever seen a good crime drama knows, robbery is wrong and can go wrong. When it fails, it can be exhilarating. Just ask anyone who enjoys a Coen Brothers comedy. Here we look at some of the funniest botched heists this year, which have not been adapted for the big screen and remain in their raw mirth. [Top 10 Everything of 2009]

1. "I'll go take a nap first before I finish my robbery."

2. "Can I steal your cellphone for a whopping 10,000 yuan?"

3. "You go ahead and answer that call – in a language I cannot understand."

4. "Get me out of here!"

5. "It's so warm in here I'll postpone my plan to steal it."

6. "I'll go on a blind date with the victim of my robbery."

7. "Send me more cash, or I'll call the ... oops, I'm the thief."

8. "I'll clean up the kitchen before the robbery."

9. "Get away from me! I'm a penny pincher of a thief!"

10. "Where's our camaraderie?"

1. "I’ll go take a nap first before I finish my robbery."

A court in Qingyuan county, Liaoning province, sentenced an ex-convict to six years in prison for attempted robbery, as he tried to commit the crime immediately after being released from prison in November.

The accused, surnamed Zhang, left for Qingyuan county soon after being released from the county prison.

With no cash for food, Zhang barged into a 48-year-old woman's house, hoping to steal some money.

The woman, however, convinced Zhang that he looked very tired and should take a nap, promising him to give him some money once he woke up.

The woman tied the intruder with a rope as soon as he slept off and phoned the police.

2. "Can I steal your cellphone for a whopping 10,000 yuan?"

A bank customer in Tianjin grabbed someone's cell phone that was lying on the counter and left his own 10,000 yuan ($1,462) behind on June 9.

The cell phone owner called police who identified the thief as a man surnamed Liu through the bank's surveillance camera.

After Liu returned to the bank to retrieve his money, while police were waiting for him.

He was reprimanded and let go.

3. "You go ahead and answer that call – in a language I cannot understand."

A woman in Chaoyang district, Beijing, used her English language ability and got a Chinese robber arrested in July.

The woman was showing the man around the house she wanted to rent out when he suddenly asked her to hand over all the money she had.

Just then the woman got a phone call. She told the thief that it was an important business call from a foreign client and had to take it. The thief agreed.

The woman told her friend on the phone in English to call the police. The thief had no idea what she just said. Within minutes police had surrounded the house and arrested the intruder.

4. "Get me out of here!"

A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal, police said on Feb. 18.

Police were called to a house in Adelaide after two thieves were heard trying to steal a car. On arrival they were surprised to find a 53-year old man hiding inside the vehicle. A second thief was found hiding in nearby bushes.

5. "It's so warm in here I'll postpone my plan to steal it."

Police in Zhengzhou, capital of Henan province, arrested a suspected car thief, who was found sleeping inside a vehicle in September.

The suspect said he decided to sleep in the car because "it was too cold outside".

Luo, the owner of the car, found the unidentified person sleeping in his vehicle and phoned the police.

6. "I'll go on a blind date with the victim of my robbery."

A woman sent 80 text messages to a man who stole her purse, persuading him to meet her, so that she could have him arrested.

The 23-year-old woman, a student in Shandong province, was on a train to her hometown in Heilongjiang province when she realized her bag, which contained her mobile phone and bankcards, was missing.

She started sending text messages to her own phone, asking whoever was holding it to meet her.

The man agreed to meet her at the Shenyang railway station in Liaoning province, where cops were waiting for him.

7. "Send me more cash, or I'll call the ... oops, I'm the thief."

A burglar in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, was arrested after he sent a text message to his victim demanding more money.

The 20-year-old, surnamed He, broke into a woman's house a fortnight earlier and could find only 300 yuan ($44) in cash.

Considering the haul too meager, he sent a text message to the woman three days later asking her to bring him more cash if she cared for her life.

The woman phoned the police, who advised her to go meet the suspect at a particular location, where he was nabbed.

8. "I'll clean up the kitchen before the robbery."

After breaking into a house in Dalian, Liaoning province, a burglar headed straight for the kitchen to hide any cutlery that could be used against him as a weapon, in case he got busted.

One of the family members - a woman - woke up hearing a rattle and spotted the intruder.

As it turned out, the thief wasn't as daring as he thought. He ran miles from the house without stealing a thing, not even the cutlery.

The woman alerted the rest of the family, and they realized the thief had only broken in and managed to hide a couple of kitchen knives behind a pile of vegetables.

9. "Get away from me! I'm a penny pincher of a thief!"

A thief stole 3.5 yuan (50 cents) from a woman, but wound up calling for help from the police in Xi'an, capital of Shaanxi province.

Zhang, a 19-year-old migrant worker, mugged a woman on the morning of August 9, but was soon followed by his victim and five others. Scared for his life, he fled to police for help. He ended up being detained for 15 days.

10. "Where's our camaraderie?"

One of four crooks that robbed a woman had to seek police help after they fought over the loot.

The four stole 160 yuan ($23) from a woman on a street in Nanbu county, Sichuan province. Afterwards, one thief, surnamed Li, tried to keep all the money. The three others beat him up and stole his share. He flagged down a police car and asked for help.

The police arrested all four of them and returned the money to the woman.