China wed fad reflects social trend

(Xinhua)
Updated: 2009-08-17 20:47

BEIJING: Zhang Zhigang beamed with pleasure in talking of his three-year marriage with Qu Yali.

"She is not a belle, but kind and supportive," said the 31-year-old Zhang, owner of an education and training center in Nantong, east China's Jiangsu Province.

Graduating from Tsinghua University in 2000 and then earning his advanced degree from a Canadian university, Zhang came back to China to seek a suitable job.

"At that hard time, I met Yali who made a difference to my life," Zhang said. "As a decently-paid English teacher, she didn't hesitate to pay for our house and car mortgages," Zhang said, citing that his wife even offered her savings to support his business to start off.

Qu said she was also satisfied with Zhang, who happens to be in the type of men who are not necessarily good-looking, earn moderate but stable salaries, and most importantly, are family-caring.

Zhou Xiaozheng, head of the Sociology and Law Institute at Renmin University, said this signals the way what young people see in marriages is changing.

Chinese women in history traditionally did house work while depending on men to bring home bread. Even at modern times, some women welcome an old saying that "to marry well is better than to work well."

But indeed, there is a growing agreement among women that quality life means more than just marrying rich men. Women put additional criteria on judging good husbands, such as doing family chores, rearing children and being warm-hearted and considerate.

A close friend to Qu, Xu Xin quitted her job to be a full-time house wife since she married a well-heeled businessman. Her husband is on constant business trips, thus hardly attends to the family.

"Zhang Zhigang is not rich, but he cares his wife more," said Xu. "I am now regreting a little bit for my choice."

Jin Danlei, a 25-year-old single woman, said, "Although many girls dream of meeting elite and handsome men for husbands, I prefer an average man who has to put family value over money."

Women like Qu Yali are also willing to lend a hand to their husbands in boosting their careers.

"I give all my savings to him to start a new business because I am sure he has the potential to win success," Qu said. "We can support each other both spiritually and financially."

Guo Wangshu, a 25-year-old girl working at Beijing Television Station who is now searching her Mr. Right, said, "I would like to join hands with my husband to build a common future."

An online survey conducted by China Survey at zdiao.com in August showed that 67.3 percent of men were comfortable with wives who can support their careers.

"She gives me understanding rather than complaints," Zhang Zhigang said, "her encouragement is a source of my confidence."

Peking University Prof. Zhang Yiwu said, "Zhang and Qu represent a successful case of marriage. They share both romance and life burdens."

"After all," Prof. Zhou said, "both spouses playing on an equal footing reflects a kind of social progress."