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(China Daily)
Updated: 2010-02-02 10:25

On 'Are men threatened by successful women?'

Hope lies in demographics

The predicament and barriers faced by girls in China also appear in other Chinese communities in Southeast Asia - Singapore, Malaysia ... and even at home: Hong Kong and Taiwan. Chinese parents are having sleepless nights.

Many successful Chinese girls may have to unwittingly accept spinsterhood because the traditional Chinese males are too "scared" and proud to even court them. This has something to do with the success of modern Chinese women in both education and careers and the corresponding rejection of Confucius's "San Cong Side" - which has kept Chinese women in bondage for centuries.

Society has it that it is all right for a girl to marry up the economic ladder but the same thing for men is shunned because others may laugh, look down upon them and even mock them.

"Losing face" is something that is difficult to swallow.

Chinese men may accept Chairman Mao's theory of "Women hold up half the sky", but in practice male chauvinism and pride rejects the equality of the gender. And the traditional Chinese family upbringing simply does not prepare Chinese males to accept a position that is level or considered lower than a woman's.

I come across many Chinese girls from China who study abroad and who would stop at the master's degree level only for fear that they could not get married if they pursue a PhD.

I empathize with you. I have neither advice nor suggestions. Maybe, just let fate takes its own course. As for "tiger" girls or "snake" men or "rabbit" children, folklore and superstitions prevail and this too will take some time to change. But there is still a glimmer of hope. And all is not lost.

The Chinese male population is beginning to exceed the female population in China. And values and perceptions will change when Chinese men cannot find enough Chinese girls to court and marry. That may solve your problem and others too. I hope it's not too late.

Helen

On 'Hutong is not what you think'

Preserve 'disappearing tradition'

The hutong life that the contemporaries got to know is an unfortunate and disturbing product of the chaotic progression of society in China's recent history. To put it in a simplified way: it was not meant to be.

The real hutong life, or courtyard-style living, from its inception, was designed as a living quarter for a single family.

Please, please preserve the disappearing tradition that has never failed to entice generations of hearts and souls of Beijingers and the city's visitors. Please find the contemporary Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin and let them and us be heard.

Danhui Wang