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Remember what marriage really means

By Zhao Yanrong (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-02-09 10:28

Two weeks ago, I attended a friend's wedding in my hometown in Hebei province. I was happy for my friend's new life but shocked by the money spent on the ceremony that the parents' generation thought necessary.

As early as 5:30 am, my friend and his family started preparing the motorcade to pick up the bride from the hotel. A well-decorated limo was followed by six Audis. At the end of the line was a brand-new white Audi Q7. My friend's father was very proud and told me "there are not many families able to arrange a motorcade like this in the city."

Maybe, for my friend's father it was a way to show off his strong social network, but I thought it was unnecessary.

I also struggled with the tradition of giving lucky money.

Normally, the more money you provide, the closer relationship. I thought that if I gave 100 or 200 yuan, it would seem like we were not close enough but if I handed them 500 yuan, I would need to re-arrange my budget for the month.

"Be generous", my mom suggested "when you get married, they will pay the same money back anyway".

It's true. But is it really necessary? It is supposed to be a way to show love to the couple, but it becomes a cash exchange table.

The banquet is the crucial part of the wedding ceremony. Almost 200 guests were invited. More than 30 tables were ordered in one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. And there were more than 20 dishes on each table.

The banquet ended with lots of leftovers and some dishes untouched.

I am not a fan of a stripped-down wedding with no ceremony or ring. A marriage ought to be a once-in-a-lifetime thing and should be celebrated. But please let's not make it into a way to show off the family's powerful socializing ability, which causes meaningless waste.