Focus

Too good for the men

By Zhao Yanrong (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-03-26 07:53

They are well-educated, have good jobs and earn respectable salaries, but they are single and over 30, and for many that means they are "over-the-hill" - too old to be married.

METRO asked why such seemingly attractive prospects are left on the shelf when it comes to marriage.

"I think it's their own problems because they are too picky," Yang Fan, a 29-year-old man from Chaoyang district said.

Yang is an IT engineer at an international organization. He is currently single and is looking for a date in Beijing. He has a few female friends of his age who are single, but he nevertheless refuses to be associated with any 30-something single women.

Yang believed these smart women normally have quite high standards for their dates. "Even if they say they want to lower their standards when they think they will be too old to get married, they will ask for more after the marriage. It won't be a happy relationship," he said.

But at the same time, he also admitted that he would feel the pressure if he dated someone who is better educated, earns more money or is taller than him.

"It's a man's responsibility to provide for the family. We say there is a good woman behind every successful man. I prefer a woman who will support me," he added.

"Plus, girls are always aiming too high for their partners. If the girls are as capable as I am, they would not even consider me anyway," the 29-year-old said.

At the same time, the parents of these single women over 30 are really worried about their daughter's lifetime happiness.

Before her daughter went to study in Australia five years ago, there were many people introducing men to her daughter, said Wang Xiangbin, a Beijing mother whose daughter is turning 32 in April.

Wang and her husband thought their daughter would have better options, if she studied overseas.

"We just wanted her to be more qualified so she could marry a better man, so we sent her to study overseas. But now, she is just too busy with work to date someone." Wang has been to Yuyuantan Park every weekend for the last two months to exchange her daughter's information with parents who are seeking dates for their sons.

"Now, my daughter is a successful career woman. But those friends, who wanted to introduce my daughter to boys, are saying that my daughter is too good for them now," Wang said.

Chen Zhili, vice chairwoman of the Standing Committee of the National People's Congress, believes that it's not necessary for any woman to marry someone elder, wiser, or richer.

"I have been married many years to my husband, who is younger, less-educated and earns less. I don't think that has ever affected my happiness," Chen said.

"Is it wrong for a woman to want to remain single?" Chen asked. "Isn't that better than getting involved in a painful relationship that is destined to fail?"