Voices

Web networking spins new take on romance

(China Daily)
Updated: 2010-04-13 08:22

It started when he added her as a friend on Renren, a Chinese version of Facebook. They began visiting each other's home pages and leaving each other messages. Later, virtual gifts were sent and a romantic relationship was born "online". A typical romance in cyberspace.

No one can deny that social networking websites such as Facebook can be an incredible tool for building and strengthening friendships. From their detailed personal information, you can not only track down your friends from primary school, but also get to know their latest status at any time, wherever you are. That's probably the reason why Facebook has 400 million active users all over the world.

But when it comes to your love life, is social networking a good way to maintain a functional relationship? I'm not so sure.

Recently, my friend confessed to me all the ups and downs of her new relationship, telling me all the dramas between him and her. However, I couldn't even feign surprise. I was there all the time.

It's not as if I was spying on her. But in a modern society full of modern technologies, it is hardly difficult to filter information, especially when you use Facebook or other social networking systems. Every time you change your status, everything you update, your friends can all see it!

My friend faced a typical question that every cyber couple will meet: at what point do you tell everyone publicly that you are officially in a relationship with someone? As on Facebook, where you can describe yourself as "single", "in a relationship" or "in a complicated relationship". Renren has a column named "my special friend" and most Renren users add their boyfriends or girlfriends into it.

My friend insists there are two kinds of men in the world: those who are brave enough to post their relationship status on Renren and those who are not.

For men who refuse to put their special someone in the public spotlight, my friend believes they have commitment issues. "It is like a married man who refuses to put on his wedding ring".

Unfortunately, her boyfriend fell into this category. He is reluctant to list her as his special friend, using an excuse that he is a very "low-key" person. Though in real life the poor guy dates her publicly, his behavior in cyberspace still annoys my friend and has a serious consequence - my friend admits that she cannot control herself and she is constantly "monitoring" her boyfriend's activities online.

It is just one of the many complaints I've heard about romance in cyberspace. Some feel uncomfortable when their partners add some unknown member of the opposite sex. Some get worried when they discover their partners visit their home pages less and less. Some are shocked that they are deleted from their ex's friend list after breakups.

All these activities result in more cyber "stalkers" and it is likely that social networking jealousy will become an increasingly common romance-buster in the near future as more people meet online.

But I can't help wondering if you have time to follow your partners' life online, why not enjoy their life in person? I miss the good old days, when people could spend a whole afternoon drinking tea and telling their significant others what is going on in their lives. Now, no one bothers as they can read each other's Renren status online.