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'Snowflake boy' reflects cold rural reality

By CUI JIA/JIANG CHENGLONG/HOU LIQIANG | China Daily | Updated: 2018-01-25 07:24

Wang wears a police cap at the university. [Photo by CUI JIA/CHINA DAILY]

Exodus

While both mothers and fathers are raising children in single-parent families, anecdotal evidence suggests that women account for the majority of people who end marriages and leave impoverished areas.

Wang Gangming, head of Zhuanshanbao village, told Beijing News that women from other areas who marry local men often struggle to cope with the bad weather and poor conditions. In most cases, he said, they simply leave.

Moreover, many villagers fail to obtain official marriage certificates, so their unions are not legal. That means women can leave without going through regular divorce proceedings, he added.

In the countryside, it is traditional for women to move into their husband's home after marriage, which usually means living with his parents and even grandparents. Many women find it difficult to adjust to the new situation, and in the event of marital disputes, it is unlikely the family will be sympathetic to the wife's cause.

Without family support, the situation can take such a heavy toll that some women see no option other than leaving home.

However, ultimately, their children are the real victims, according to Li. "Living in poverty will make a child unhappy about their immediate life, but growing up without a mother or a father can also make them feel hopeless about the future," he said.

"Those combined factors could make them suicidal or even want to somehow take revenge in later life, which may result in severe social problems when these children reach adulthood."

Last year, Li conducted a study of the psychological conditions of children in rural areas who are growing up without one or both parents.

"Although there are similarities, the impact on children who grow up in single-parent and poor families is obviously more pronounced than for 'left-behind children', those growing up in the countryside who rarely see their parents who are migrant workers in distant cities," he said.

"The psychological trauma is more severe and their behavior is more extreme."

Fu, the school principal, has noticed that students from broken families, especially those without a mother, quickly start displaying both positive and negative responses, but the negative effects are "much stronger".

His observations show that these students are more independent and stronger than their peers. "For example, they can cook and do heavy housework on their own, and can even look after the whole family," he said. "They don't want to be independent like that; they just don't have a choice."

Fu, who originally shared the "Snowflake Boy" photo on social media, said he did so because he was not only struck by Wang Fuman's appearance, but also by the boy's stoic attitude.

However, he added that students in Wang's situation usually perform poorly in coursework and also tend to be introverted and stubborn. They may even exhibit extreme behavior.

"One of the things that hurts them most is being called 'motherless' by other students. Sometimes they don't react immediately, but they bear grudges and later throw punches at the people who made the comment," he said.

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