Culture

Crossing the great relationship divide

By Zhang Yuchen ( China Daily ) Updated: 2014-03-28 09:15:16

Staying power

Most people in interracial relationships said they believe that good communication, trust and understanding are essential to make a relationship work. The hard part, however, lies within the institution that occurs later.

According to Ming Li, the marriage counselor, 20 percent of the cases she deals with involve interracial marriages. "Once you've entered into the institution of marriage, no matter whether it's people from the same culture or a different one, it's better to stick with it to the end," she said.

Crossing the great relationship divide

Creating the 'third culture' 

For Roy Huggins, who has provided long-term counseling for 10 interracial couples in the US and other countries since 2010, overcoming cultural differences is crucial to ensuring the longevity of a relationship.

"Based on academic studies and my experience with clients from Japan, Southeast Asia, and a few from China, being from a collectivist culture, Chinese partners are likely to clash with American or other Western partners about responsibility to family and helping each other meet individual needs. For example, a Chinese partner may think less of an American or Canadian, etc, partner who seems 'needy'," he said.

While researching a recent article "It's Hard to Say 'I Love You' in Chinese", Roseann Lake discovered that Chinese men find it very hard to cross the boundary into uncharted territory and express their love in a straightforward, direct way, even though they may be intensely in love with their partner or spouse.

The last word goes to Hu Yiqiang, whose ad read: "I won't care what jobs you did before. I won't care about what you have done before, as long as it wasn't illegal and you have no criminal record, just as long as you will fall in love and marry me in the near future."

 
 
 

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