2011-03-10 10:33
A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final question?"
2011-03-07 11:04
A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
2011-03-04 09:25
"That's not so serious," soothed his mother. "I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn't cry at something like that. Why didn't you just laugh?"
2011-03-03 11:16
"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked. "Nine a.m." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
2011-03-02 10:30
"Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
2011-03-01 10:27
Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until late hours of the night.
2011-02-28 09:57
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy." The friend asks, "How so?"
2011-02-25 10:50
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
2011-02-23 10:05
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
2011-02-21 10:21
In a courtroom, a pursesnatcher is on trial and the victim is stating what happened. She says, "Yes, that is him. I saw him clear as day. I'd remember his face anywhere."
2011-02-17 10:10
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."
2011-02-14 09:22
God replies, "For me, a million dollars is only five cents." The man says, "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?"
2011-02-12 10:06
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some flowers in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”
