2012-01-18 10:02
"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client. "I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"
2012-01-13 09:22
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: “My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?”
2012-01-10 09:26
"Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!" "Ok, I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes." "Good, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"
2011-12-08 11:02
The young man turned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"
2011-12-02 09:33
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you."
2011-11-29 09:52
One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem -- how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage.
2011-11-16 10:46
One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
2011-11-04 10:24
"Please, teacher," said a small boy, "I've made someone glad yesterday." "Well done. Who was that?" "My granny." "Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
2011-11-02 10:55
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.
2011-10-28 11:19
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red? Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight. Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
2011-10-21 09:02
There was a customer who came and asked a waiter in a cafeteria: "Oh, tell me, Susan, how do you keep all the flies out of your coffee shop?"
2011-10-10 10:44
When the work was completed, the patron was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.
2011-09-30 08:56
While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."
