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Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话,开心学英语。

打错算盘

2009-03-16 09:50
A teacher was collecting test papers from his students after a test when he noticed a hundred dollar bill and a small note tucked inside one of the papers.

数到100才说

2009-03-13 09:53
In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,"Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100."

家庭传统

2009-03-12 09:35
Two madmen were talking in the mental hospital, and one said, "I have decided to give my sister to you in marriage once we are out of here."

不能还钱

2009-03-11 09:56
Tomorrow is the last day that I must return the money I owe John, our neighbor. But I have no $300, so I can’t sleep.

猫和老鼠

2009-03-10 09:53
" What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."

智力缺陷

2009-03-09 10:06
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..." how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"

谁的爸爸强

2009-03-06 10:12
Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

两磅李子

2009-03-05 09:51
Mother: I sent my little boy for two pounds of plums and you gave him a pound and a half. Shopkeeper: My scales are all right, madam. Have you weighted your little boy?

学法语

2009-03-04 09:17
Son: Dad, is French difficult to learn? Father: My boy, at the beginning it is, but after that it becomes easy.

看情况而定

2009-03-03 09:58
One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: " How long will this pair of shoes last?"

巧合

2009-03-02 09:22
Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, "my wife was reading 'a tale of two cities' and she gave birth to twins."

丢了的钱包

2009-02-27 09:56
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

生日礼物

2009-02-26 09:58
The day after his mother's birthday, he phoned to her. "What did you think of the bird, Mother?" he asked e. His mother replied, "Oh well, It's very delicious!"

高级睡衣

2009-02-25 10:00
Our pajamas are of such superior quality that even the man who sells them can not keep awake

怕老婆的男人

2009-02-24 09:50
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.

假钱

2009-02-23 09:55
Jimmy looked at the tank in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, “And this isn’t a real tank, either.”

第一次坐飞机

2009-02-20 10:08
one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small plane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting.

总是很渴

2009-02-19 09:54
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

确认没走错

2009-02-18 10:00
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.

聪明的回答

2009-02-17 09:15
Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.