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Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话,开心学英语。

“危险”的狗

2011-01-07 12:39
The stranger couldn't help but laugh. "It certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world do you need that sign?"

招祸的鹦鹉

2011-01-06 15:24
There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. Not knowing what to do, she called 911. "You gotta help me find my parrot!"

扮演已婚男人

2011-01-05 10:08
A fourth-grader was excited that he had tried out and gotten a role in his school's play. His father was really proud of him and asked, "So, what part did you get?"

让人变聪明的兔子粪

2011-01-04 11:26
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?"

四处“看看”

2010-12-31 09:48
A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around.

有心无力

2010-12-30 09:19
There was once a woman who prayed every day for 20 years that she'd win the lottery. Every single day.

埋金鱼

2010-12-29 09:19
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

两只蝙蝠

2010-12-28 09:39
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"

撒谎的罪过

2010-12-27 09:13
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

带羊看电影

2010-12-24 10:22
A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, "Take that sheep to the zoo, now." Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.

称婴儿

2010-12-23 11:14
At a pharmacy, a woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.

还钱

2010-12-22 10:24
While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers, "What is this?"

上帝看着苹果

2010-12-21 10:51
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

天堂之路

2010-12-20 10:22
When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven."

我不能确定

2010-12-17 11:22
The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum.

只要一分钟

2010-12-16 10:27
A British Airways employee took a call from a woman asking the question, "How long is the Concorde flight from London to New York?"

来不及了

2010-12-15 09:56
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.

恐龙的精确年龄

2010-12-14 10:03
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"

神奇的种子

2010-12-13 11:20
We were doing a science lesson on how plants grow. The children all got a chance to plant their own seeds.

你知道我是谁吗?

2010-12-10 10:23
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." replied the boy. "I'm the principal's daughter." said the girl.