笑话_休闲英语_中国日报网英语点津

Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话，开心学英语。

绝配

2009-06-15 10:56
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

他说他认识你

2009-06-12 09:05
An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.

等一分钟

2009-06-11 10:11
The man: "God, how long is a million years?" God: "To me, it's about a minute."

谁最能干

2009-06-10 10:12
The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

有贼进了我的车

2009-06-09 10:42
A drunk man phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.

浪费还是节约

2009-06-05 10:27
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wasting time?

我不想学习了

2009-06-04 09:44
Student: I watched TV that someone was killed because he know too much.

人什么时候话最少

2009-06-03 09:10
Student A: When do people talk least? Student B: In February.

毒蛇

2009-06-02 09:23
A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither. The son asks, "Dad，are we poisonous snakes?"

欠我咨询费

2009-06-01 09:17
Several days later the butcher opens the mail and finds anenvelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.

2009-05-31 09:19
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"

谁更有礼貌

2009-05-27 09:51
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he alwaystipped his hat to ladies.

医生为啥戴口罩

2009-05-26 09:24
Once a small child asked his father, "Father, why do doctors always have to wear masks in the operating room?"

安眠药

2009-05-25 10:49
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

他才是你的儿子

2009-05-22 13:12
His wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest. Absolutely. No question. I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."

一切都还好

2009-05-21 09:20
A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him.

直接从美国来的

2009-05-20 10:10
Mrs.Smith lived in London. One day she received some American dollars from her daughter who was working in New York.

什么也别留下

2009-05-19 09:15
Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door: NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING.

还剩多少

2009-05-18 09:10
Mother: I told you not to eat cake before supper. Mary: But, Mum, it's part of my homework. "If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left".

去天堂

2009-05-15 10:05
Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? … What about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up, don't you want to go to Heaven?

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